I was a naive person.

My parents always made decisions for me. I come from a very poor family in India, so they thought I should put all my focus on my studies to get out of poverty. We had no TV, fridge, phone, internet, or computers—not even a bank account. I never traveled beyond my city, or hung out with friends, lacking money for restaurants. These left me without any real-world experiences. When I went to college suddenly everyone expected me to grow up, and I failed to meet their expectations.

I learned to become a people pleaser, and always took care of others before myself. I trusted everyone and they took advantage of me. My family and friends ridiculed me for being immature, but no one tried to understand my situation. Due to constant failures and a lack of respect from others, I lost all confidence in myself. Being naive became part of my identity, and I felt worthless. This situation went on until 2019.

In 2020, I got three salary increments in the space of 6 months at my software developer job. This gave me a huge self-esteem boost, but quickly got my reality check on how far behind I was.

I saw those young entrepreneurs on social media who had access to computers and the internet from age five, and I felt deep regret for not having the same opportunities. They studied at English-medium schools, speaking fluent English with effortless confidence, while I struggled to express myself due to a lack of training. They’ve read everything from Dostoevsky to J.K. Rowling and traveled everywhere from Ladakh to Italy. I asked them how to catch up, but everyone offered vague motivational platitudes like “hard work pays off” or “don’t give up.”

Desperate to close the gap, I purchased books and online courses, starting with one for ₹500, then ₹2,500, and kept investing in pricier ones - ₹5,000, ₹15,000, ₹25,000, ₹45,000, and ₹75,000. Eventually, I spent ₹300,000 on a blockchain bootcamp, hoping its emerging nature would let me compete on even footing and land a high-paying job at US-based companies. But even there, others got far ahead of me. I studied every day and never took any breaks, there were too many books and courses to finish. Just when I was about to give up, I got the lifeline from an unexpected source.

Russia attacked Ukraine in February 2022 and my YouTube feed got flooded with content on Geopolitics. I consumed curiously and started to see similarities between international relations and everyday life. The nuclear blackmail, sanctions, and proxy conflicts mirrored the passive threats, social exclusions, and subtle power plays I experienced in my personal and social interactions. I applied strategies used by International leaders and instantly got results. For the first time, I managed to establish proper boundaries in my life.

But that was just the start. Over the next three years, I developed a unified framework to think about human behavior, which I found to be the common pattern across all domains. By understanding how the human mind works, now I can reverse engineer any theory or product and connect with other domains. This removed my main bottleneck - the lack of time for learning new things. Instead of importing insights from others, I started mining my own mind - confidently. From relying on others for even basic decisions, I suddenly found myself critiquing my former idols, like Naval and Tony Robbins, and crafting my vision on India’s future.

Here in this blog I write an article everyday on my work on the mathematical model to quantify what is theoretically possible for humans. I am working on a book to organize everything and a journaling app based on the same for aspiring thought leaders. Subscribe to get updates on them.

Also, connect with me on X / Twitter for short-form posts: https://x.com/admiralrohan

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Write an article everyday on human psychology though lens of cynicism. Software developer, working on mathematical model to quantify what is theoretically possible for humans. Overcame extreme poverty, want social mobility for all.

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Software developer exploring human behavior through cynicism, geopolitics, evolutionary psychology, and strategic thinking. Overcame extreme poverty.