Why cynicism is the best way of living?

Stop worrying and start living.

Yesterday I watched a Hindi movie named “Tumse na ho payega” (English translation: “You can’t do it”).

The hero was a corporate employee unhappy with his job. He started a startup after getting fired from his job. Everyone loved the product. But it wasn’t growing fast enough for the investor. He was forced to adopt unethical practices for the sake of growth. 

That ruined their reputation. 

Eventually, the hero pushed back at the investor, and his ego got hurt. He staged a fraud case against the hero using his connections.

The hero went to jail.

Guess what happened to the “evil” investor? Nothing. 

Power always wins.

Uncertainty is causing all mental problems

Cynicism is a belief system that suggests that people only act out of their own self-interests.

This is seen as a negative attitude towards human nature and society. Cynics don’t believe in altruism or morality. They also tend to be distrustful of authority figures and institutions.

The problem is we use cynicism unconsciously in many areas.

When applying for jobs, we don’t expect the company to hire us out of generosity. We think about what the company wants and try to present our skills accordingly.

The same happens when we receive a WhatsApp message promising to double our investment in 25 days. We question their intentions.

For advertisers, people from the US are more valuable than rest of the world, as they have higher purchasing power.

Selectively using Cynicism is creating confusion.

Very few people in the world actually help us “unconditionally”. 
Only our close family members and friends. 
So if we can explain this “unconditional” helping, then we can simplify how the world works.

And if we can explain what is going on around us, it will reduce our anxiety.

Our brain wants to ensure our survival

Our brain has two main parts - The conscious and The subconscious mind.

The conscious part of the brain came at a later stage of our evolution. 
Hence it’s weaker than the subconscious counterpart.
Hence most of our behaviors are controlled by our subconscious mind.

The goal of the subconscious mind is to ensure our survival.

We can use this understanding in two ways - To form good habits ourselves and to understand behavior of other people.

Forming good habits

I wanted to quit games. 

I reflected on my daily routine and figured out why my mind loved playing games. 
I loved playing games because that was the best reward I had at that time.

Currently, I have been writing a Twitter thread every day for last 50 days.
I enjoy sharing my ideas. It has the potential to change my life completely. 
It is increasing my chances of survival.
Hence writing online is perceived as a higher reward than playing games to my brain. 

Humans only act out of our self-interests. 
I stopped playing games because I have something better to focus on now.

Understanding human behaviors

My mother loves taking care of me.

She feels good after taking care of me. This gives her the reward she seeks.
She is taking care of me for that reward, not because of me.
According to her mental programming, taking care of me is increasing her chances of survival.

Obviously, this happens unconsciously. 

This has been programmed by the society since her birth. Society taught her that she was supposed to take care of her son. 
In the same way, we can explain other altruistic behaviors like taking care of stray dogs or donating money during floods. 

A few thousand years back brothers used to kill each other for the thrones.
Eventually, the society as a whole realized that this wasn’t sustainable.
So we developed the system, unconsciously. To train everyone to behave properly. 

To keep social harmony.

Think like a nation

How the nations interact among themselves is the accurate representation of human behavior.

Society has trained most of the people to behave in a certain way.
We have the laws and the police to protect us from people who disrupt social harmony.
At the international level, our leaders and the army deal with dirty things.
So we citizens can live peacefully.

But there are some people who use the loopholes within the system to their advantage.

For example, people who bully others in colleges and offices. To gain advantages.
Saying negative things to destroy someone’s morale isn’t an illegal thing.
Saying bad things to our manager behind our backs isn’t illegal either.

If we act naively we can’t survive properly. 
We won’t die but won’t be happy either.
We have to act more intentionally.

We have to think like a nation.

The goal is to enjoy every moment

I don’t want to know what Carl Jung or Friedrich Nietzsche has said. 

I don’t need to read the Bhagavad Gita or Bible.

I just want to enjoy my life.

In the world of self-help, we are so focused on processes. We have lost touch with the end goal. 

What is the point of reading all those books and collecting wisdom if we don’t have time to spend with the family?
What is the point of all those hustles?
What will we gain in the end?

We need to secure the bare minimum for our survival.

That will free us from all anxieties.
That will give us resources to express ourselves freely without thinking about what other people would think.

Everything else is a bonus.

We only need two things to understand humans

Humans act based on two things - Power and Motivation.

India has the nuclear weapon.
North Korea also has the nuclear weapon.
Both have the same power. The difference is their motivation.

I want to change the world.
Elon Musk also wants to change the world.
Both of us have the same motivation. The difference is the power we have.

The problem happens when we only look at one parameter.

Most people complain about politicians being corrupt.
They don’t study their motivation.

It would be better to have a realistic worldview to reduce frustrations.

How to be kind?

A resourceful person can donate more than a beggar.

This is understandable for economics. 
The same principle can be applied when interacting with people.

Imagine who can help their colleagues more generously. 
A person who is insecure about losing the job at every moment?
Or a person who has enough money to survive for the next one year?

Trusting other people is a risk we take.

Who can take more risks?

When we are powerful we don’t consciously need to think about getting something.
We can give generously.
Some people will take advantage of us.
But most people will give back. 
This will be a win-win situation in the long run.
This is a better proposition for me rather than always thinking about what can I get from others.

Humans only act out of our self-interests. 
If we all can train our minds to see the bigger picture, the world will be a better place.

Therapies are only good at detecting problems

I consulted 6 doctors in last five years. And got more depressed.

Imagine this scenario. 
I want to buy a house. But don’t have the money right now.
I will not feel happy until I get that house.
How a therapist can help me with this?

There are two things I can do about this.

Either I reduce my expectations.
Or I increase my power, so I can afford my dream house.

How can breathing help me here?

“It will help you to calm down.”

This feels like a temporary coping mechanism. 
This is like treating symptoms instead of the root problem.
I would rather focus on solving the problem for good.

If I can train my mind to see how bad I feel after ruminating, my mind will automatically stop it.¹

Summary

Our life should be simple.

Enjoy your life. 
Earn money, and express yourself freely. 
Do whatever you want without breaking your government laws. 
Ensure that you can sustain your lifestyle.
If some relationship issues arise due to past traumas, find a way to negotiate them with your family. Reach a common ground that everyone can accept.

Why everyone is complicating this?

Humans only act out of our self-interests. 

The philosophy of cynicism gives us this single tenet. 
This can be used in every area of our lives.
This can help us to solve problems from first principles.

The world is an unfair place. 
That is not the problem. 

The problem is not using our own unfair advantage.

1. The case is different for serious patients who have lost control of themselves.